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Lil-lightsout
post Jan 23 2009, 09:28 PM
Post #11


Light Heavyweight


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That was great.
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JonnyBlaze
post Jan 24 2009, 01:48 AM
Post #12


The Savage


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HAHAHA!!!That shit was too funny!!Had me crackin up..Is there anything else similiar to that??
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AKay
post Jan 31 2009, 03:33 PM
Post #13


I'm SEXY!


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lol
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HaydelHammer
post Feb 1 2009, 10:23 PM
Post #14


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lol

had my wife laughing in tears man. lol
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lloyd mayflower
post Dec 26 2009, 09:11 AM
Post #15


Junior Middleweight


Group: Team BU
Posts: 2,005
Joined: 13-May 08
From: Bonny Scotland
Member No.: 7,369



Priceless. I just read this and remembered seeing this ages ago. A genuine letter of complaint to Edinburgh City Council. (Leith is a shit hole in Edinburgh)

QUOTE
> Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service
>
> Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Leith
> police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the
> idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as
> to pass this meassage on to your colleagues in Leith by means of
> smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouji board.
>
> As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical
> experiments (I think you call them youths) in West Cromwell Street
> which is just off Commercial Street in Leith. Six of them seem happy
> enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an
> iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth
> shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This
> game is now in it's third week and as I am unsure how the scoring
> sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.
>
> The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through
> several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so
> thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a
> saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I
> fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited
> attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on it's side
> between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their
> own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would
> even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortuneatly they are
> far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just
> finished decorating the kitchen.
>
> What I suggest is this. after replying to this e-mail with worthless
> assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt
> with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath
> night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a
> panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again.
> This will of course serve no ther purpose than to remind us what
> policemen actually look like.
>
> I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these
> throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month
> head start before coming to arrest me.
>
> I remain sir, your obedient servant
> ?????????
>
>
> -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Mr ??????,
>
> I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the
> problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you
> have encountered in trying to contact the police.
>
> As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend
> an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.
>
> Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details
> (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.
>
> Regards
>
> PC ???
> ?????????????
> Community Beat Officer
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Dear PC ?????
>
> First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my
> original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record
> for Leith Police station and rest assured that I will forward these
> details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.
>
> Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it's own
> community beat officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on
> your covert skills. In the five or so years I have lived in West
> Cromwell Street, I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have
> you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the
> one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a
> chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before
> you are headhunted by MI5.
>
> Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking
> place in Leith such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim
> without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman
> to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to
> these tw@ts that they might want to play their strange football game
> elsewhere. The pitch behind the Citadel or the one at DKs are both
> within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Albert Dock.
>
> Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free
> to contact me on ??? ????. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to
> answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Compass Bar.
>
> Regards
???????


P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you
don't work for the cleansing department.
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Spyder
post Dec 26 2009, 11:39 AM
Post #16


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(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

I wonder if he ever bought the cop a pint.
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KookedKrack
post Dec 29 2009, 09:08 AM
Post #17


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Posts: 1,327
Joined: 10-October 06
From: NJ
Member No.: 5,468



(IMG:http://imgur.com/gvqX4.png)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)



(IMG:http://images.4chan.org/gif/src/1262059505503.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/shok.gif)

This post has been edited by KookedKrack: Dec 29 2009, 10:05 AM
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Spyder
post Feb 20 2010, 09:17 PM
Post #18


The Prime Minista


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The legendary David Thorne in another gem... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

(IMG:http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/28/thorne-1.jpg)
(IMG:http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/28/thorne-2.jpg)
(IMG:http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/28/thorne-3.jpg)
(IMG:http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/28/thorne-4.jpg)
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lloyd mayflower
post Feb 20 2010, 10:54 PM
Post #19


Junior Middleweight


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Joined: 13-May 08
From: Bonny Scotland
Member No.: 7,369



Absolutely class!
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Snoop
post Feb 20 2010, 11:22 PM
Post #20


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From: Seattle
Member No.: 87



QUOTE (Spyder @ Feb 21 2010, 02:17 AM) *

Bwuahahahahahahahahahaha. David Thorne is my hero.
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