Here are some great KP posts
QUOTE(Keith Pratt @ Dec 31 2005, 05:57 PM) [snapback]180827[/snapback]
Next time you're contemplating masturbation in your bedroom, make sure your bedside lamp is between
you and the curtains, to avoid giving neighbours and passers by an entertaining 'shadow play'. Either that or, have a wank with the light out.
QUOTE(Keith Pratt @ Jul 13 2005, 10:31 PM) [snapback]125218[/snapback]
I'm going to write a different fact about animals every day.
Todays fact is about Pervy Elephants:
Male elephants urinate all over themselves, and roll around in urine-filled mud as a method of attracting females. The dirty bastards.
Check back tomorrow for another fascinating fact about animals.
QUOTE(Keith Pratt @ May 30 2006, 11:00 PM) [snapback]240897[/snapback]
I do, I love it!
So much infact that I've written a poem about it:
The food I love the most,
Is not a chicken roast
Lovely fish and chips
Will never pass my lips
And I would rather not
Eat sausages quite hot
A great big birthday cake,
does not me hungry make,
For the food I love the most,
And this I really boast,
Is a lovely slice of... TOAST!
Have you noticed how when you drop a piece of toast it always lands on the buttered side? To get round this, I always eat my toast dry, so it doesn't matter which way it lands if I drop it. Then I eat the butter separately with a spoon.
Like many of my generation, I deplore the fact that the word 'toast' has been hijacked by so-called musicians. In my day, toasting meant grilling a piece of bread that one would eat at breakfast time. These days, it means ranking up a phat sound on a ragga dub beat tip. Once again, as happened with 'gay', 'queer' and 'cottage', a perfectly good English word has been lost to the language. And 'fist'.
P.S. And 'rim'.