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Snoop
D-MARV
LOL... please tell me you got that from someone else and you're not responsible for this.
The CEO
laugh.gif

David Thorne is my kinda guy...
Snoop
QUOTE(damarvelous1 @ Jan 22 2009, 02:29 PM) [snapback]421403[/snapback]
LOL... please tell me you got that from someone else and you're not responsible for this.

Man I wish I was funny enough to be responsible for this.
Fitz
lol.
BigG
laugh.gif Thats hillarious!
rusty_trombone
wow, that shit was really funny. I wish I was David Thorne
Snoop
I can imagine David Throne and Jill Gilles banging each other if they ever met in real life.
stateofthegame
I really would have been funny if Jill Gilles finally got so frustrated she just said "I'll pay for the fucking thing, just stop e-mailing me"
Snoop
QUOTE(stateofthegame @ Jan 22 2009, 11:01 PM) [snapback]421476[/snapback]
I really would have been funny if Jill Gilles finally got so frustrated she just said "I'll pay for the fucking thing, just stop e-mailing me"

Depending on what kind of person Jill Gilles is, she could have been laughing her ass off behind that computer screen. I know I would have.
Lil-lightsout
That was great.
JonnyBlaze
HAHAHA!!!That shit was too funny!!Had me crackin up..Is there anything else similiar to that??
AKay
lol
HaydelHammer
lol

had my wife laughing in tears man. lol
lloyd mayflower
Priceless. I just read this and remembered seeing this ages ago. A genuine letter of complaint to Edinburgh City Council. (Leith is a shit hole in Edinburgh)

QUOTE
> Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service
>
> Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Leith
> police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the
> idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as
> to pass this meassage on to your colleagues in Leith by means of
> smoke signal, carrier pigeon or ouji board.
>
> As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical
> experiments (I think you call them youths) in West Cromwell Street
> which is just off Commercial Street in Leith. Six of them seem happy
> enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an
> iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth
> shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This
> game is now in it's third week and as I am unsure how the scoring
> sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.
>
> The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through
> several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so
> thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a
> saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I
> fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited
> attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on it's side
> between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their
> own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would
> even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortuneatly they are
> far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just
> finished decorating the kitchen.
>
> What I suggest is this. after replying to this e-mail with worthless
> assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt
> with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath
> night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a
> panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again.
> This will of course serve no ther purpose than to remind us what
> policemen actually look like.
>
> I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these
> throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month
> head start before coming to arrest me.
>
> I remain sir, your obedient servant
> ?????????
>
>
> -- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Mr ??????,
>
> I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the
> problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you
> have encountered in trying to contact the police.
>
> As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend
> an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.
>
> Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details
> (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.
>
> Regards
>
> PC ???
> ?????????????
> Community Beat Officer
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Dear PC ?????
>
> First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my
> original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record
> for Leith Police station and rest assured that I will forward these
> details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.
>
> Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it's own
> community beat officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on
> your covert skills. In the five or so years I have lived in West
> Cromwell Street, I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have
> you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the
> one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a
> chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before
> you are headhunted by MI5.
>
> Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking
> place in Leith such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim
> without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman
> to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to
> these tw@ts that they might want to play their strange football game
> elsewhere. The pitch behind the Citadel or the one at DKs are both
> within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Albert Dock.
>
> Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free
> to contact me on ??? ????. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to
> answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Compass Bar.
>
> Regards
???????


P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you
don't work for the cleansing department.
Spyder
laugh.gif

I wonder if he ever bought the cop a pint.
KookedKrack


laugh.gif





shok.gif
Spyder
The legendary David Thorne in another gem... laugh.gif




lloyd mayflower
Absolutely class!
Snoop
QUOTE (Spyder @ Feb 21 2010, 02:17 AM) *
The legendary David Thorne in another gem... laugh.gif





Bwuahahahahahahahahahaha. David Thorne is my hero.
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