It all started with an invitation by my Filipino friend in 2006. For a few weeks I could hear him talking to other co-workers about this guy named Pacman, he would argue with our Hispanic co-workers and do high fives with the Asians in our work. Was I missing something? are they talking about Pacman? The goddamn 80's game that sucked 3 years of my childhood. Anyway my friend finally enlightened me about it. Oh, My first reaction was to look at him weird and tried hard not to tell him he's a dumbass for watching people beat each other to death. Your a Fucking nurse bro! don't you see enough of that shit everyday?
There was so much buzz around my work about this guy named PaccantpronouncehisnameforshitMan and some dude named Morales. So, my friend asked if I wanted to come over and watch the fight but violence is just not my thing. Plus my most recent memory of boxing was Grandpop screaming at the Goddamn TV at some guy named Ali to bury Frasier. WTF? I never knew my Grandpop was a homicidal maniac. That memory was something I've tried to suppress from my memory. Fuck You!! Psychiatrist for trying to tell me to bring repress memories out!. But then my friend added a kicker of free booze. FUCK IT! Who the hell would turn down free booze?
Who would turn this down?
The day of the fight I come over my friends house and was slightly uncomfortable with the majority of the crowd, I was surrounded by Filipino's and most of them are Nurses. WTF? What are the stats and Filipino's all being Nurses? as in males, Murses. After making a B-line to the cooler my friend tried to introduce me to everyone while I put on my most charming smile and looked like a retard by bowing every time I met someone new. My friend had to remind me that Filipino's don't do that shit only Japanese do. Well, thanks for finally telling me after I bowed to everyone in whole fucking room dipshit! Yeah laugh you smug bastard......
While waiting for the main event I tried to be social. After talking to a group of them playing a game called Mahjong, a game kinda like cards but made with tiles. ( Try playing 52 card pick up with that ). I was getting the feeling that to these Filipino's PacwhateverhisnameisMan is the second coming of Jesus.
As I sit there with my beer I watched in amazement at the opening ceremonies. I was perplexed at the lack of the "Eye Of The Tiger" song, seeing as my knowledge of boxing music is limited to Rocky montages.
So the fight starts...... and HOOOOLY SHIT!! was this a fight! MOFO went KABLAM! then there was a WHACK! then a POW! Then the other guy got KTFO!! people are screaming! beer is flying all over the place! HOLY FUCK! I was tempted to make a break for it because these people were screaming things I couldn't understand, they could have been saying" Kill the Non Filipino guy!!" Fuck it! I say to myself this shit's awesome, I'm a risk taker!.
Then just like that it was over. Wow...... after my heart stopped beating 3 thousand miles a minute and my eardrums stopped ringing because of the people screaming I came into a realization.... What the fuck planet was I on this whole time? how can a sport that almost made my fucking head explode with excitement be unknown to me? How the hell did I miss all this years of ass beating on TV that I wished upon the school bullies??
That's right Scott you SOB! I'm sending Pacguy after you!!
After the fight I thanked my host for the free booze, a shattered ear drum, and almost giving me a heart attack. Asshole!!
As I got home I did any sensible human being would do. I Wiki'ed this little Tazmanian Devil that gave my heart an orgasm.
I was in such a high that I felt like I could punch out anyone if they started shit with me. Oh and I tried man, I tried. Fucking asshole in the freeway was lucky after he cut me off I didn't unleash my new found skill of going POW! and BAM! and WHACK! on his ass. Instead I used my new vocabulary of Filipino Cuss words. Dumb ass looked confused as I started my tirade. What was I talking about? right.
So I get home and plunged into the the most reliable source of information in the internet, Wiki.
Mind you I am not a stalker but in this case the dude could defend himself even if I wanted to go to his house and tried to steal his underwear.
The ultimate question for Pac, Boxers or Briefs?
After spending the weekend researching... (not even close to stalking) weekend, I was Fucking shocked! This guy started at 106 pounds. Dude! that's how much my GF weighs! Youtube video's showed his exciting fights that made me even had my jaw drop. Then comes his career of starting all poor and shit, rising above. At this point I felt like I was reading a novel written by Tyler Perry.
To sum it all up through PacohigiveupMan brought me into the sport that I have missed this whole time. Masturbation Wednesdays has turned into Wednesday Fight Nights. Friday CSI nights ( While pretending to listen to my Girlfriend plan our Goddamn wedding) has turned into Friday Night Fights (Pretending again to listen to her rant about the wedding ) " Yes honey, you can invite my Uncle who makes everyone uncomfortable by asking the kids if they want candy in his van.. round 3 is starting ". Now at this point I would ask her to get me a beer but I discovered a new found respect for 106 pounders.
you would be last on my rape list, or if I wanted to commit suicide
Again Pac I want to thank you for bringing me into this new world that gave me a new sport to look forward to! I look forward to the future of legal manslaughter that you unleash upon your foe's. 2010 is going to be a great year for boxing so keep it up! and keep the ass beating going for all our entertainment!!