QUOTE (AZWildCat @ Jan 20 2014, 08:32 PM)
Quit acting like you weren't gonna respond anyway .....on wit it slick rick
Oh trust me, I was gonna respond. lol
I remember going to Goosebumps back in '07, and this was my first time in a strip club (here in Atlanta anyway). I had no idea how the dance/tipping shit worked. All I knew (or thought I knew) was I was supposed to stand by the stage and throw money at the chicks on the pole...totally had no idea that they just walk and give random dances....I thought that only happened in movies. Lol
Anyhow, my young dumb ass was in there on a budget...silly me. I paid $20 to get in (yeah, it was a Saturday night), and I immediately went to the bar. Had a couple of Hen & Cokes, which were around $8 each, plus I tipped the bull dagger bartender $2 per drink. Mind you, I only came in the club with $80...because I thought I was gonna be throwing $1 at a time....again, how naive of me.
Anyhow, me and my brother sat at the bar, and a couple of busted strippers were walking by talking silly shit to us (giving us compliments just to get a dance). Of course I ignored the first couple of them, then I thought, "Hell, let me go ahead knock off a couple of these ugly broads, then I can get a dance from the nicer lookin' ones". Silly me...
The first chick gave me a dance, and I paid her $10 even...she asked for $10 by the way, so I thought that was the standard for a dance. So the next dancer comes around and "I'm So Hood" by DJ Khaled came on...which was the hottest song that summer by the way. Me being an excited little retard with only $30 left in my pocket (and unfortunately, I didn't have enough in my account to get money out of the ATM...we're talking less than $20 here), I was thinking of getting a couple more dances...then sit around and just "look" (read: watch some ass for free...which is cardinal sin in strip clubs).
The nice chick was giving me a dance, oh boy...can you say "party in the pants"? I could've married her ass...she was "cute" not all of that overrated "she's a dime" BS...she was "cute". The strip club went crazy when the Khaled song came on, and suddenly, the DJ ripped about 3 more songs in less than 5 mins...all of this happened while was getting a dance. To my surprise...the lapdance rule was...$10 per song, per dance...so I was looking at -$10....bad news for my young naive ass.
I owed her $40 at this point...and she wanted every bit of it. She was cute, but when it came to her money, her whole attitude changed. I said, "$40?! I thought dances were only $10". Oh boy...why did I say that? Saying it was one thing, but saying it with the lost "I don't even have it on me" look, was all too telling.
She then said in my ear (loud might I add), "N*gga, you can play like you're new to this shit all you want, but straight up, I want my money". I didn't even think to try and argue back, but at least she gave me the courtesy of saying it my ear. My brother on the hand, was deep into his lapdance...with a completely different stripper..he knew the rules...unlike me. She straddled me (which was quite the experience) and allowed me to grab her ass (oh Lord!!!), and whispered in my ear, "If all you want is another dance, then that's all you gotta say"...all this was going on while she was grinding on me...I couldn't think straight. You aren't allowed to touch the strippers here...so they say.
I thought I was off the hook (which I believe I was), but I had to stop her from dancing on me (read: riding me like she was my woman), because I didn't wanna owe her anymore money. Again, I wanted to marry this broad! She stood up and said, "For real though I want my money, but you owe $60 this time...that little grindin' shit wasn't free cutie". Her words had me hypnotized...but knowing that I now had only HALF of what she asked for, made me fee like a sucker.
This is where it got ugly...as she stood up, I guess the hunch back, bull dagger of a bartender was ear hustling the whole time, and made this stupid scene, saying, "Ay, you gotta pay these dancers, aint nothin' free around here, You tha 3rd motherfucka to do that tonight!". She looked like the Chicago Bulls mascot, no shit...uglier than a pair of bowling shoes.
So her stupid outburst caused security to come over from the other side of the club, mind you, it was still loud in there. I told the bartender, "The 3rd one, motherfucka yall just opened a couple of hours ago. Mind your business". Security guarded those dancers like they were their daughters and shit. While these two dudes were on the way over (they took their time, which made the shouting match even uglier)....thank God...a fight broke out about 3 seats down from us.
Man, when I say these dudes were thumpin' (read: hooking, beating each other's asses, "getting down with the get down", etc)....that fight made it to my area, quickly. By this time, people were all over the place, and I grabbed one of the guys who were fighting because they falling all over us.
All I felt were these fat ass Jolly Green Giant-sized fingers graze my shoulder, and as SOON as I tried to slip away...the security guard (who looked like the black sweaty dude that sang the hook on Gangsta's Paradise) got me in this fuckin half nelson type of hold and THREW towards the door. As i picked myself up off the ground (outside, thank God) he other guard kept pushing my brother until he got to the exit door....
As far as I'm concerned...that was the best misfortune that ever happened to me! The stripper (whom I'll probably still marry to this day) side-stepped like a hell when that scrap broke out. While I was getting dragged and tossed out of the club, all i could hear was the ugly bartender yelling, "Get they cheap asses outta here! Get 'em out now!".
Moral of the story...well...there is no moral. Oh wait, yes it is...don't go the strip club on a budget.