The Third Law of Boxing Logic dictates that for every wise, well-reasoned article of thought launched into the online Universo Pugilistico, there must be a vast asteroid belt of stupidity around which it can be obscured.
Here’s the first in a semi-regular feature, detailing some of the best of the worst in flaming stupidity boxing has to offer.
Stupid Things You Hear On Social Media (Part One)
Believe it or not, there is some buzz out there in the Universo Pugilistico that Al Haymon and Team Deontay Wilder are somehow behind Wilder’s opponents testing positive for banned substances (three opponents in sixteen months, to be exact). If I get this tinfoil hat conspiracy theory right, the whacked-out claim is that the “evil” puppet master, Haymon, is attaching Wilder’s name to quality opposition, only to intentionally (and mysteriously) spike the proverbial punch bowl so that those fights don’t actually happen. Wilder then gets full credit for “wanting” to step up, but a free pass on facing lesser opposition because it’s not his fault that scared heavyweights feel they have to load up on juice in order to face him. Sure, that makes sense.
Stupid Things You See in The WBO Rankings
Antonio Margarito somehow earned a no. 9 slot in the WBO junior middleweight rankings based on his recent controversial technical decision win over Carson Jones in Chihuahua, Mexico. And by “controversial,” I mean, like, it shouldn’t have happened at all because Margarito totally quit on his stool between rounds seven and eight and then somehow managed to get a technical decision win because of a headbutt earlier in the fight. The generous WBO ranking now conveniently allows for the completely shot-to-shit Margarito to challenge for Miguel Cotto’s WBO 154 lb. world title belt in a big money slaughter that would funnel a nice, fat sanctioning fee into the sanctioning body’s pockets.
The other “stupid” part of this whole scenario is the WBO rankings, themselves. Because, in a division jam-packed with talent, their Top 15 features guys with zero meaningful, high-end victories in the division like Magomed Kurbonov, Liam Williams, Kanat Islam, John Vera, Dennis Hogan, and Yuki Nonaka. It almost seems as though this is an opponent farm for a big-earning, WBO-friendly champ. Total throwback to the “glory days” of the classic 80’s-90’s WBO, huh?
Stupid Accounting
When the usually reliable Los Angeles Times posted that the September 16 Canelo-Golovkin PPV had generated 1.3 million buys, Golden Boy was quick to issue a press statement refuting that claim. The real sales number, they wrote, would be “well north” of the figure quoted in the media. The promotional company is now waiting on every possible purchase to work its way through cable operators, as well as info from any sales made online through RingTV, Sling TV, and Sony PlayStation before stepping forward with a sales figure. This is assuming, of course, that scraping the barrel for every possible sale will make much of a difference in the final tally at all. If the final, absolute number of buys is not much greater than the 10-day-later LA Times report, expect both Golden Boy and HBO Boxing to quietly move away from making any further statements regarding buys.
I know that Oscar De la Hoya’s prediction of three million buys makes the real number seem anemic, but 1.3 million is actually a solid number and completely in keeping with the realities of this fight.
Canelo’s star power is good for anywhere from 700K to 1 million in sales and Golovkin has never proven himself to be the kind of crossover star HBO had desperately hoped him to be. Anyone who thought this fight would garner more than 1.5 million buys in this market, at this time, was delusional.
Stupid Like A Fox
Of course Conor McGregor doesn’t REALLY think he has a chance of beating Mayweather in a rematch no matter what he told fans at a recent Q&A session in Glasgow, Scotland. He also, most likely, doesn’t fancy his chances against Paulie Malignaggi in a boxing ring.
Reality has just set in now—How do you go back to fighting in the UFC for a fraction of what you could make being your own man in boxing?
Expect a cash-conscious McGregor to keep clutching at boxing purse strings until he’s no longer physically able to fight. Who can blame him?
Stupid Things You Hear On Social Media (Part Two)
I guess it was inevitable, but less than 48 hours after Andre Ward announced his retirement, the dumb memes and goofy Facebook boxing group topics began to pop up about him being “chased” from the sport. As for who is running Ward from boxing, I’ve seen Artur Beterbiev mentioned as S.O.G.’s ultimate boogeyman as well as Dmitry Bivol. There was even one brave, lost, pathetic soul still claiming that Ward is running scared from Sergey Kovalev.
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